Only Fans & Horses – English Lyrics

• By: Marky B, Connor John

Lyrics & Translation

Dive into the vibrant world of UK rap with "Only Fans & Horses" by Marky B and Connor John. This track is not just a banger; it's a linguistic journey into contemporary British street culture, packed with unique slang and cultural references. By exploring its lyrics, you can learn expressions related to ambition, hustle, and the realities of modern urban life, making it an exciting way to engage with the nuances of the English language as spoken in the UK. The clever play on a classic British TV show title also offers a glimpse into how popular culture is reimagined and incorporated into new artistic expressions.

[English]

Oi Marky, you're a plonker!

No, I'm not mate, I've been on the vodka.

I've been in the club chatting to a few birds,

I've been reeling and dealing, tryna make a deek for myself, though.

Looking for a bird I can conquer,

Game's so good, I bet they give me an Oscar.

I've been wheeling and dealing, tryna put ones in a ceiling,

Do you want a Yorkshire? Lovely jewellery?

Wanna make a million so I can sit comfy,

Trying to make a wage all over the country.

I'm acting a plonker, you're acting a donkey.

I'm a wheeler, dealer, fit bird teaser, your bird stealer,

Love a free wheeler, can I go deeper?

I'm a wheeling, dealing, money-making geezer.

Stick a pony in me pocket,

I'll fetch the suitcase from the van.

Cos if you want the best 'uns, but you don't ask questions,

Then brother, I'm your man.

Cos where it all comes from is a mystery,

It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea.

But here's the one that's driving me berserk,

Why do only fools and horses work?

Stick a pony in me pocket,

I'll fetch the suitcase from the van.

Cos if you want the best 'uns, but you don't ask questions,

Then brother, I'm your man.

Cos where it all comes from is a mystery,

It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea.

But here's the one that's driving me berserk,

Why do only fools and horses work?

Yo, I wanna buy this trimmer, I'll sell you it cheap, you'll be onto a winner.

Now I'm marking things antique, not worth one rap, I'll chuck that in the river.

Yo, I wanna buy this caravan, I'll leave a wage for it, sold in an hour, man.

Now I'm marking a trailer, a ringer, but I wanna use it when I go shack-caravan.

Yo Marky, I mean Rodney, stop trying to sell me ring 'em up.

Yo Connor, I mean Delboy, everything's ringing when you're from Bradford.

I wanna wrap money in elastic notes, I got plastic, moves that are drastic.

I wanna make money in a house next door, what I mean grow weed, not Mr. Boombastic.

Key Vocabulary

Vocabulary	Meanings
bird /bɜːrd/ A2	noun - a female, often used informally
club /klʌb/ A2	noun - an establishment providing entertainment, especially dancing and drinking
make /meɪk/ A1	verb - to create or produce something
money /ˈmʌni/ A1	noun - a current medium of exchange in the form of coins and banknotes; collectively, wealth
want /wɒnt/ A1	verb - to have a desire or wish for something
work /wɜːrk/ A1	verb - to be employed or to have a job noun - activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result
wheel /wiːl/ B1	verb - to turn in a circle noun - a circular object that revolves on an axle
dealer /ˈdiːlə(r)/ B1	noun - a person who buys and sells goods
best /best/ A2	adjective - of the highest quality, excellence, or standing.
mystery /ˈmɪstəri/ B2	noun - something that is difficult or impossible to understand or explain.
fools /fuːlz/ B1	noun - a person who lacks good sense or the ability to think clearly.
horses /ˈhɔːrsɪz/ A1	noun - large plant-eating mammal
winner /ˈwɪnər/ A2	noun - a person or thing that wins something.
river /ˈrɪvər/ A1	noun - a large natural stream of water flowing in a channel to the sea, a lake, or another river.
ring /rɪŋ/ A2	verb - to call someone on the telephone
drastic /ˈdræstɪk/ B2	adjective - likely to have a strong or far-reaching effect; radical and extreme.
house /haʊs/ A1	noun - a building for human habitation